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June 30 to my x too sorry too bad well with the exception of personal stuff sorry bud but as for your licor smoked filled smelly ole couch well, it's dumped.... waited long enough, I think ,for you to come and gather it all up, but ,being the coward you are I should have know you could or would not have the guts for anyone to see you that knows you, as you would not be ready for the disscusted looks you would get from all of them including the neighbors as they thought you were a decent person, but, you fooled us all I guess ,even me ....and, for me , I am the one who got the blunt of it and felt the pain , but pain is something we all experience in life so pay back will be even more cutting and hurtful when your turn comes around , for your actions treating me and pulling off such an uncaring and most inhumane acts that anyone else probabley could or would not even consider to do, especially the cowardly way you went about it . Enough of you scum ball and now life has nothing but forward for me to seek and I am and will ...I finally got my upper part of my house finished and if I must say so myself I think it looks marvelous and now my boys and their spouses and kids will and have arrived and I will just kick back and enjoy them which you could have had you not chosen another path but your the one missing out, as you said you loved me and all my family but who knows that too was a lie, I guess, as love means not all about yourself and means making sacarfices and working throught the hurdles and the hurdle was you not me as I did what most people would not have for seven years , put up with you severe addictions and sometimes gave up a lot of everyday living and missed out on the simple things in life like sharing activities together while you slept and drank your life away, but , you chose your bed now , heaven forbid where it is going to bring you......you may think all is good but its too early to really tell and no good comes from all the hurting and disappointment you have caused for a lot of people ....and... so now , I will enjoy my peaceful home even if its with just me ......no more of my giving it all to a selfish individual who professed to have loved and thought the world of me supposedly......... the few other remainding items that I have belonging to you, your personal mail and some money and some old clothes and a few other things I am picking up around from time to time you will find someday on your doorstep as I do not have use for them..... but , for sure anything that I feel she will get use of, it will not go your way ...I will keep it and someday if you have your own place......i will give it back to you ....but, that will never happen cause you need someone to look after you , we are all just a replacement for the mom you said never liked you and I believe that is what drives your evil.... it's called looking and searching for what you missed out on in your early years and so therefore your women and I mean ALL YOUR WOMEN including you wife, we were just that someone to replace your wanting motherly loving that you always said you had none of.....sorry that was the way you felt and mabey if you did not feel that way you would have appreciated all the women in your life and treated them better, but, now I think you met your match.... a sick person who will eventually wish the day came that you had never went down that road but for now I am sure all is well and when the time comes that it changes hopefully things will have changed for me too and I will be strong and not feel your lost because you do not deserve much more in life than you already threw away. I paid the deposit for the dominican rep for next april and I am going to have some fun and enjoy life to it's fullest and I am going to start to travel to regina and toronto,,,, i's too bad, too sorry , your not here to do it with me as I just came back from toronto and to think you were suppose to go too and enjoy a toronto hockey game in person with my son.... again, too bad , too sorry you lose ... now he is home with his new g/f and again as you enjoyed his company so much your loss again , and the other son is coming next week and you loved him, so you said ....JOKE !!!!! right??????? and the son you said you never had , that you have not had the guts to even acknowledge anymore, well , he bought a beautiful new home and i know you would have enjoyed to see it and go there for a visit with him.... lost again... and me , well, I don't know if you consider me a loss .....now you got yourself a younger tramp who is like you.... turned her back on all who loved her and told lies and ruined a lot of other lives and destroyed familys and even turned to having a cheep affair with a priest and that is no better than what you deserve because your no better, or else that kind of person would not have been attractive to you, but who knows what goes on in that licor soaken head of yours and come to think of it, who cares ...we all sure as hell don't lost again ......so now I will go and try and enjoy the rest of my LIFE.....WILL YOU.June 17 truth or not the truth that is the questionwell, some one out there is either lying or is awful two faced ...not sure which.... but one thing I am sure of is, that someone does want me to be happy. Isn't it funny all of a sudden SHE is all that, now that it is convenient and I am none of what was all that now that I am not needed now that the problems and worries are not there any more or so they think. I guess, as I was already accused , I was and am the blame and the enabler of all his addictions even tho many years before I ever knew him he drank and over indulged in meds and for the record, I have none of those addictions even in the mildest amounts. Now that they think, and I say think, he not drinking ,no matter what hemay want, they will make sure where he is that is where they will try and make him stay happy or unhappy , because right now, they believe that she is best thing ever happened to him just like I used to be. For them to say or believe that the calls were not real is just another form of denial and that all but makes sense to me now about the late night call from an unknown woman as that same night they partyed till the wee hours so mabey my suspicions were correct, who this could be as they just wanted to have a little fun with me to enhance their entertainment but at the same time he was out talking confiding in a friend the real truth about his feeling and I say the words maybe as I have no real evidence what the two calls made to me in two days were all about , but one thing I am saying is I did receive the calls but not sure why or from exactly who but as I research the information I had to go with it all seems to fitting and very conscidental . What ever, some one is trying to send a message or trying to stir up the pot , and , at this point, who knows and who cares. All I do know is someone is lying and sure as hell it's not me . What is there to gain by me lying but there is plenty to gain from others lies as with their acceptance of her , they need to look at me as the bad person or else there could be truth to the message I received from his message passed on to me from a friend and someone is reaching out, again I am not really sure anymore just what to believe or think but I know one thing, I think I have been put through more than my share by one family and their are people out there I am sure realize that as I have friends too and they see and hear first hand what has all happened. As for me being friends with her x, well that is none of their business , just as i have no say in who they befriend. If I can protect and help an innocent person from getting more than he deserves then I will and am proud of it because someone needs to challenge her and she met her match, no.... I mean better then her match as she is no more than a dumb f__---- k in more ways then one..... Go to work ,maggie ....now that you had not much rest last night ....thought, mabey those restful nights were coming to an end ,but, for some reason there seems to be more hurting left to throw at me, I guess, but, I will survive and above it all soon I hope and pray. June 07 summer herewell have not been here for some time nothing new for me to write waiting for some weather which seems to be slowely coming and doing bit of garden work not much mind you but some still not feeling where I should be and still have not much interest in stuff around me but I am slowely getting back to at least where I can just say fuck it .....and good things come to those who wait but while i am waiting I am gonna try and let good things happen for me and not the same good things meaning for the creeps out there in their own little selfish world I now need to go back to getting things done around here was gonna throw out that little fence that mr creep made for me for my garden and did not finish but my friend convienced me to put it around my flower bed and I did so now that is one thing he will not get in the big chuck it was useful afterall and I would have been mad if seen it around his so called yard only things I want him to get back are things that are of no use to me and are very little use to him I know that sounds mean but guess what he was mean to me and never looked back so I will not be accused of being mean by others as i tell them how i feel it was a two way street when he here so it is a two way street now that he is there and he needs to take the bad with the good that he took so there that is how I feel so if you need to look down on me for feeling that way then I cannot help it and will not change my words just to look nice ...my prophile says it all I am nice but not that nice and you get what you give right or wrong that is how I see it sorry.......I went to the valley last week met lots of decent people ones who know when to have good time and some spirits and when its times to give it up and get back to reality not the type I was with it was all good times and spirits and pills 24/7 and I doubt that has changed that is why he hides only difference is there is not enough money in the pot for the 24/7 thing cuz for first time in his life he has to pay all the bills himself while she controls the money looks good on him as he always liked to be last of the big spenders that shit higher than his ass millionaire for two days till his check and all his borrowing avenues were used up till next check arrived and the millionaire would surface for another two days then it ws borrow borrow borrow till next month came around well now he is never millionaire even for a day I love it that is only satisfaction I got out of this whole mess that he so uncaringly created as he moved on Oh well enough about that miserable nut now I must see what i can do about making myself once again a whole person like I used to be maggie needs to leave now talk some other time gonna go shopping its a good cure better than alchol tho that is how losers deal with things |
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