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May 25 boredmy god I am so bored I need to get a life soon or esle i may go wacko,,,,,I went out last nite and guess what no where to go just no where I even went to the legion and no one there and dj playing music so I did not even go in no point I did not want to listen to dj and also wanted to be able to talk to people and by the looks of the few cars there I assume they all couples and so they were up dancing and no one to even talk to so no point so i went to tims what else is new ......only highlight of the nite was a jerk that amazed me but that is the story of my life I always seem to attract jerks and certainly did not need to be reminded of it as I did last nite sitting there having a diet pepsi as I was very thirsty felt almost dehydrated so went to a coffee house to have a pop lol.....and to continue what I was about to tell you , this nut I will call a person was leaving and as i looked up at him I thought it was someone I knew and waved only to realize as he looked at me he was not who I thought he was . A friend of mine came into tims few min later and sat down with me and we talked about 15 min when this man came back in and sat down...first I thought he knew the other girl I was talking with only to hear him say to us I quote " do yu girls want to go for a ride with me " I looked at him in surprise and said WHAT and he repeated what he had asked of us I then said I dont think so and he replied with I have a nice care and lots of great music I told him so do I and why would he ask such a thing of us and he said to me welllllllllllllll you waved to me ...blow me away or what......where do I attract these jerks and what and why would he even think such a thing do I look that much of a bushover for these type of individuals that they feel comfortable that I am that easy going and approachable or is this just my kind of luck he was not even that bad looking but I have had enough heartache in my life not to recognize this kind of jerk and even so to even boldly ask such a rediculous request just blew me away best i just stay home at least I not get in the line of fire...I felt violated and nervous to even go out tomy car when I left tims....wow to think that was the highlight of my night I must have a terrible meanless life and sure hope that this is not all I have to look forward to as I mope around looking for something to do besides staying in with no one to talk to or be with......makes no wonder I wish that I could turn back the tables of time and erase the events of the past six months with the exception of my grandchild and son buying a new home being the exception as no turning back is worth that and of course neither is my x being excused for his actions should I even accept to erase as there is a reason for everything they say.......so life goes on till I get one I guess and I need to have faith that there is one around the corner for me whatever that may be.....I know one thing for sure no more jerks for me ..................................my fingers are asleep ever since I sat down to this computor and its really hard to type with all the tingling in them good thing its my right hand otherwise I would need to have another worry but I do not think there is anything medical when right fingers tingle mabey boredom lol.....oh by the way the sun is finally shining after two weeks of rain mabey that is the start of change and I will say its time to say bye for now so maggie is leaving have a shower to go to and a meeting interesting day its better than most lol May 19 losing itWell guess I am losing it went to work this am but I was scheduled off that sucked although I should nt have been as I did not request it and it was my regular working day but that is ok why would I want to be working on this beautiful rainy and cold day when I can get so much yard work done lol/////////well I think that I will go splurge today and buy myself a new oven and coach and mabey its time to make a positive move its a day like today I should be ready to dump the old and I mean dump right back at him where it belongs I am not his desposal service so give it back since he does not have the nerve or the courtesy to come and get the junk out of my way besides from what I understand he may need it must be time now that he misses his stuff and all its memories too but its time I rid myself of his stuff and all its misery for me so if I had been ready the rain would be a pleasant way to do the delivery after all why would I want to make it pleasant for him as he made sure the past five months were not anywhere near pleasant for me and that is all his doings so every dog has hs day they say now its time for mine......I am sick of that nut he is with thinking I have no right to the outside world if I am in their eye view too sorry too bad for the both of them if they not like me being where they may be then stay the f--k home where you both belong cause no one wants to see either of them anyway as they are low life and have no morals or self respect for sure I was so fooled and used good day maggie getting angry again so now I go spend some money my money and that is the way it always was and always will be not like them always skeeming to try and suck others out of the things they did and do not own but users do that now good day May 18 summer is comingwell summer is coming although you would never know it when we look around us at the weather but I am sure with some patience it will be along soon. I need to do so much outside work that I look at it as another excuse not to have to go out and get started. I need to do what other gals do and go find myself a sugar daddy to use to death and get what I need for me but as you already have figured it all out that is really not what I am all about. I should welcome the opportunity to do the gardening to take some of that boredom out of my life. by july this whole house will be ringing with people and some of them kids .I need to organize from top to bottom soon as shawn leaves As I sit here and try and write I am falling asleep which is unusual for me to do but for some reason I cannot keep my eyes open so i better go and have some rest and mabey write some other time nite maggie
May 05 cant sleepwell here I am , three almost four in the morning.... have to get up in two hours, no, hour and half but been awake for hours,,,,,, God I wish I could get a decent nights sleep ....I need to get a life and find some kind of peace within myself and forget that god for saken loser who I wasted seven years of my life with , believing in him and treating him with all my love and respect, only to find out he is just another loser, and deserves what he got now, an even bigger user and loser who has no respect for herself ,her parents , and family, and , her husband and kids.... the only one she did not really abandon was the one she gets paid the bucks to keep, cause, that is all she is about... money.... and now, he will get his belly full of that.... I never used him not ever but she sure as hell will.... Imagine , moving in with someone that was his nurse and as he says were just friends .... lol.... not even that really as she worked in his doctors office .....think mabey he fooling me long time..... mabey..... he says no, but you dont move from one house to another spot within a month.... the liar...........I got to go now.... mabey I can sleep now that I had some more say...... only release for me is to do this....... night maggie its 4 am time call at 5am May 03 will it ever stopwell did not think I would be here so soon but could not sleep much last nite had bad dreams mabey even nightmers had to get out of bed arond 3.30 my x heavy on my mind I was restless going back and forth from computor to the window I do not know why that was but at 4.30 the phone started ringing I first though mabey someone booked off at work and I frowned as i was so looking forward to having a nice day off...well not to be ......it was not work ....it was my daughter in law Karen.......she was frantic.....someone bleu her car up and the house was also catching with the front door melting ....so guess my restleness was afterall for somereason .......I have high energy and very strong vives when something is not quite right and guess that was reason for my restfullness Funny but so often I get same feelings about my x that something is not quite right and he is not happy .....well only he can fix that one ........and mabey someday he will ....but for now I am grateful karen and my grandkids are safe and were not hurt the kids were on a sleepover and karen was still up thank god and a passerby saw the car on fire and knocked on the door so even tho its scary how and why it may have happened it is all good no one hurt ...that neighborhood has been targeted with car vandelism the past month or so and that is a good feeling as I would not want to think it was a deliberate act towards my daughter in law.....as for good day off well the kids do not know yet what has happened and my son who is out of town does not know yet either and karen needs help as well I went into the house and it smelled of sulfer and burnt plastic as the vinel door and casing was all melted with the fire from the car.....she is so upset as the car is only about 3 months old as she wonders if there was someone mabey jealous that she had new car but as the policeand neighbors told their storys to her I think that may have settled her down as to being just another victim . now i must see if i can get enough energy to try and clean this shack I have not been doing much of anything since xmas when the big crunch all came down for me finding out my x was just a pervert May 02 my my the x can it really be himwell today is my first grandsons 12th birthday , may 2nd , yester day was my second grandsons birthday 2 years old ,may 1 . wow ,,,,Where does the time go .......as for me it was not a bad day at work quiet for a change so I am not tired after working all day good good nice once in a while.......and guess what .....cant believe how people can age so quickly AS I am driving home down argyle street who is coming the opposite way but an old and wrinkled white haired lady .... as I thought ..... but because she looked like she was hiding behind her arm it made me take notice as to what was going on and guess what, the old lady was a younger man , my x , wow!!!!!!!!blow me away .....guess he was trying for me not to see him and if he had not made it ovious that he was hiding i probably would have not noticed him but because he has no licence, so guess he figures best i don't see him .... lol.... what a way to live , having to hide from everyone and everything.......I cannot believe how he has aged but that comes from being sneaky ,mean, selfish , and deceitful . Others were so good to him, now he needs to live with the guilt, and guess it must be taking its toll , or , she is taking a toll on him who knows and who really gives a f ----- he deserves whatever it is that is making him look so old and wrinkled .... the once very attractive man now looks like a wrinkled up old lady lol sorry for laughing but he she deserves it what he she is now looking like....... and to think he was always so vain about how his appearence was ..... awwwwwww, shame shame .... poor him..... but he is paying I figure just from the look of him and paying big time ...... imagine living with him six years and hardly recognized him because he aged so much.........but that must be good for the slut he is with as she loves older men especially if she believes they have one foot in the grave.....looking at him , mabey he has ....hope for girls sake the witch did not convience him to leave what little he has to her as it was supposed to be the kids and if she did neither he or she will never have any luck afterwards.........good things come to those who wait they say now maggie needs to sign off got to go find something more important to do than this |
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