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November 09 Yep I am bored and I need to find something to do with myself and I need to know how to do that as right now I do not know how and it is frustrating me to no end .......to stay in the house and cook who for, and what for, to go out, where.... to work more ,well that is not the answear, I already work enough..... to shop, well I am shopped out , and am spending money just because...... to visit, well I am not content enough to do that at the present ......to exercise , well mabey that is a plan but I need to get the motivation, and how to get that .....well not really sure .....to go and find some entertainment , well tried that and usually go to the place and turn around and leave before getting out of the vechicle...... so now, I need answears and I need to find the interest even when I find the answear as well ...... and for another relationship, well , no no no , that is not even an option .....am I missing my companion ?????yes I am... and that is what the big hold up is ....can't seem to be alone in this house and I am not interested in even entertaining finding something out there even part time ...... not for me, not at all.... so now you know what I mean by I need some kind of life..... and now, I am sure that as well as I have not got the answears, neither does any one who reads this, cause, i am sure there is none .....right at the moment mabey to die is the answear, then the problem will solve its self... and that is on a light side, so it is not a thought or a plan either, just the frustrations that I feel...... it needs some humor ...... that is exactly what someone might say to me.... why don't you just go shrivel up somewhere cause you do not want any answears and you want to stay miserable .. not .... no I do not..... and I have no control over what is going on with me and if I did I would fix it for sure mmmmmmmmmmmmmmaggie signing off now as i am leaving to go out and who knows mabey spend more money... mabey have a coffee .....mabey just drive and drive ....who the f------k knows i sure don't till we meet again     thanks for listening maggie
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